Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Decisions

WOW!! My mind is overwhelmed with decisions that need to be made or will need to be made in the near future! I just got home from my anatomy lab class, and don't feel up to writing the entirety of several issues! But briefly, these decisions involve my health, and basically my entire future. Decisions that I really didn't expect to have to make! And still praying I won't have to make them. But I have to be prepared just in case!

There was no evidence of acute rejection from my bronch. Good? Yes and No. Bad? Yes and No. Bad in that we don't have anything acute to treat. Good in that my lungs are not acutely rejecting! What are the causes of very low PFT's (my PFT's have been declining a good bit over the last 2-3 years),non-response to the IV antibiotics, multiple pneumonias and infections this year: UNKNOWN! Possibilities: SEVERAL. I will begin doing things (tests, etc.,) to rule out these possibilities, but in my eyes, I would rather one of these possibilities be positive, in fear of what the final and last diagnosis is, which would basically be a progression of my chronic rejection of lungs, which was diagnosed in 2006. (But in reality, that is not a good diagnosis, and I don't care what is wrong, I just don't want that answer). I'm not ready to decide my entire future, just yet!

Step #1: Liver tests! Evidently,there is fluid around my liver. I guess they saw this either in the recent CT scan or bronch (not sure). I have NEVER had any issues with my liver or kidney, and never had any lab values indicate that there are issues. But in reality, something being wrong with my liver, could indeed, be the best possibly diagnosis in the great scheme of things.

I kind of want to cry, and sort of don't. I never give up, and will not accept the final and last diagnosis until we've exhausted all other means! And that view stands among all of the UAB Transplant Team!

In other news, I bombed my anatomy lab test..UGH!! Needless to say, I will be studying my butt off all weekend studying EVERY SINGLE muscle in the body, it's origin, its insertion, its action, its nerve supply and finally, yes finally, it's arterial supply! That shouldn't be too hard right? Na, piece of cake! Yea, right :)

Until my next post! All I can ask for now is prayers! I'm sure many of you can read between the lines on what I'm talking about. If not, then I will post about it sooner or later!

Update on grandfather: still hanging on by a THIN, THIN, THIN thread! But not responding to anything! Just waitin on the Lord to take him home!


13 comments:

SWelch said...

Katey I hate to hear that news. I know it is always better to have a diagnosis so you can treat the problem. I am not really sure what all of this means for you. You have to forgive me, the transplant thing is new to me. I am just now really starting to take an interest and trying to educate myself a little more on the topic. I will be praying for you. Remember God has a plan and a purpose for all things.

Lovin Lane said...

Sorry about your news.... My prayers are with you... And just remember, my dearest CF friend taught me that tears do not mean weakness and smiles do not mean strength... It is okay to loose it once in awhile, just as long as you jump back on the ride.... As far as anatomy RUN jj, good luck with that one girl lol... Much Love...

Jane said...

Dude. (I have no idea when I started using this word, but I have started every sentence tonight just like that. Figure I might as well not stop right now.)

I'll be praying extra hard for you. I wish there was something I could do to help besides pray.

Just know I'll be sitting in the medical library all weekend as well, studying away, praying for you.

(And maybe thinking about how much anatomy sucks and that maybe being a doctor is really the crappiest job ever and then remembering that I'm doing what I love and sucking it up and studying some more.)

GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR STUDYING!

OceanDesert said...

Hi Katey! yeah, Mike is at the U of Alabama Tuscaloosa for work for the week.. My brother lives in Atlanta and we love to visit the south!

I will be picturing you feeling good and breathing easy!!

Tooter's Mommy (Courtney) said...

I will definitely be praying for you!

Emily said...

hey girl~ I'm so sorry to hear that you are having such difficult time. I know your are a fighter but sometimes it can be overwhelming. I will be praying for you...

Here is a verse I read today: "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer". Romans 12:12

Jess said...

Oh Katey. Please know that I am thinking of you and will be praying for you. I'm so sorry that things aren't going well for you right now. I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better. Please know you are being thought of! HUGS to you.

Somer Love said...

You have both my thoughts and prayers Katey! XO

Aspiemom said...

You have had such a rough time this past year and I was hoping your news would be turning around. Perhaps soon. We won't give up.

Sorry about the anatomy class. Science is NOT my thing!

Sarah said...

I've been having random fevers since coming home from the hospital, usually before I get ready for bed. What's up with that? Email me soon reading your emails from bed make my day!

Cara said...

Praying, praying, praying for you always, Katey! Praying for your Grandfather too.

You know what helped me in Anatomy? I got a big piece of butcher paper, had someone trace my body and then drew in EVERYTHING. All the bones, all the muscles, all the veins and arteries. I have to DO something to learn, so drawing everything really helped it click in my brain. Just a thought! :)

Katelyn said...

I am praying, Katey. I am praying.

Audrey said...

Katey,
I am on my knees fighting for your "in between the lines" discussion. ILY!!! I want you to know how special you are to my family. Read Isaiah 43 the entire chapter, but especially verses 2-4 and verses 18-19.