Saturday, September 19, 2009

Grandfather

I wanted to give a quick update on my grandfather! We have continued to struggle in disagreement regarding treatment for my grandfather! It has been a family battle against his wife (my step-grandmother, etc.). My grandfather did start doing better, but she (wife) still wanted to stop treatment, even after the doctor told her that this was not "that" type of situation! That he could recover and be fine! When the doctor told her this, it was good news for the rest of the family, hoping that she would change her mine. In addition, my grandfather was alert and could understand/comprehend the situation enough to make a decision himself. And for her to stop treatment, would technically be illegal.

On Thursday, we found out that my grandfather had contracted pneumonia (hospital-based), and his kidneys were not filtering properly. They started him on antibiotics for the pneumonia, as well as supplemental oxygen! And he really started improving, and he said he felt so much better! However, yesterday morning (Friday), my step-grandmother, once again, decided that all the antibiotics and treatment needed to be stopped. That this would just prolong the pain and suffering from him, and there was no point in trying to "make him better." Everyone in the family (well, except for one of the sisters) was in complete disagreement! My parents, as well as my uncle, talked to my grandfather yesterday, and he was telling them how he was not ready to get on that "train" yet! That he had been praying to the Lord for exactly a day and a half, asking for God's guidance, and what he needed to do. My grandfather (I call him PaPaw) said that the Lord gave him that answer, and told him to keep fighting. PaPaw said that he was at the bottom of the ladder, but after praying, he had begun working his way back up! To me, that shows that he is not ready to die, and he wants to fight this if all possible.

However, my step-grandmother (she is really my grandmother I guess, since she married him before I was even born) had a different opinion. So she discussed with the case-manager yesterday morning, convinced one of the doctors to agree with her, and made the decision to call in hospice, and discontinue all treatment. He was started on morphine pump within minutes (and yet he was in no pain). Between yesterday and this morning, my parents, and my aunt and uncle, have been praying and trying to decide on what to do. How do they turn around the decision and prove to the doctors, but mainly my grandmother, that PaPaw was not ready to go home. That we was plenty alert to make a competent decision. My uncle spent the night with him last night. And he straight up asked PaPaw if he was ready. And PaPaw said no, that "what harm could the antibiotics do"?

Then this morning rolls around, and PaPaw is not doing well. He is much sicker, not very alert, confused slightly, and just sort of "out of it." One of the doctors still called my grandmother to tell her that this was treatable. However, she still said that she didn't want to prolong this for him. I'm so furious with her!! It's unreal! And it was like it was almost a blessing in disguise for her that he was worse this morning, so we would have a more difficult time "arguing" or disagreeing with her.

However, after my mom and uncle talked a little while ago, they decided not to fight my grandmother any longer. PaPaw is really a lot worse this morning (of course it's probably because they stopped the antibiotics. Pneumonia can eat anyone up quick without treatment). Therefore, it's just a matter of time. Maybe hours, maybe days, who knows! We are all fine with God taking him home when God is ready, and we were fine with letting a natural course decide PaPaw's death, but not a decision like this. However, we know God is watching over him. PaPaw is going to Heaven. He has lived an awesome 95 years, and was always going strong. But now his time has come to grace the gates of Heaven!

So I ask for your prayers, for PaPaw to die peacefully, to not be in any pain. I ask for prayers for his 4 daughters (one of them being my mom) and their families. This has been a very tense situation from the get-go, and has caused a lot of stress among family. (which I don't blame...it's caused me stress too). And I guess we need to pray for my grandmother. Especially for her spiritually, that she will learn how to trust in the Lord, and hopefully know where she is going when her time comes. Based on these last few weeks, her actions have not demonstrated love for the Lord, and she has not shown her love for her husband or family in a God-loving way.

Thank you to those who have already been praying for my grandfather! I did go down to the hospital last night (gloved, gowned, and masked) and visited with him for awhile. He was perfectly alert and had remembered things I had told him or things my mom had told him about me from MONTHS ago! He told me how proud he was of me and how he wanted me to promise him that I would be careful on my upcoming trips. He had looked at my cruise pictures a few days ago, and told me how beautiful I was. I've always loved him so much..he has had the perfect attitude, and always handled me and CF great...never pressured me, never freaked out, always loving!

Sorry for the long post. This is going to be a tough week, tougher than it has been! I'm also still fighting off this respiratory infection. I have a bronch on Monday, which really needs to be done, but may have to be postponed. I'm not sure what to do in that situation!



8 comments:

Jessica said...

OMG I don't understand! I'm in tears for you!!! I am just sitting here in shock. Its not like it was cancer treatment or something. I am just in shock. Is she younger? Is she depressed? Is he leaving her money? I just can't understand WANTING to let the love of your life go...

I am so sorry, you have all my prayers and support. I am here if you ever need to chat.

Aspiemom said...

I'm glad that he's READY to go and that you have so many special memories with him. Wow, 95 years!

I'm sorry it's been such a struggle with your grandmother - that must be so hard on your mother and her siblings. I pray that everyone has peace and no bitterness at the end.

Feel better, Katey!

Jess said...

I'm so sorry that you are going through all of this :( I'll be praying for your Grandfather.

Groettum Family said...

I am furious with her and I don't even know her! I have been thinking about you and praying for your family all week. You don't have to call her your grandmother...I would call her a step-grandmother too. I have lost both my grandpa's so if you ever need someone to talk to, I am here!

Jamie said...

It's interesting to see how different people's views of death are. I am with you, I think that we should take care of everything in our power (medical, scientific, etc) and let God do the rest. It is pretty amazing, 95 years, and it might be hard to see someone you love be in the condition your grandfather is in. It effects your entire family differently. I pray your family will find comfort and peace and that your Grandfather will be peaceful as well.

I too am sorry you have to endure such pain and loss.

Katelyn said...

I don't know why my blog isn't updating with blog rolls. It isn't doing it on Sara's, Cara's, yours ... no ones.

Thank you for the birthday wishes!

Cara said...

:( I am praying, praying, praying for your Grandfather. I am so sorry you and your family are having to go through such a rough ordeal. We will just never understand the way some people think, huh?

And you take care of yourself!

Brandi said...

Katey -

I'm thinking about you right now. Whether the time remaining to your grandfather is long or short, you will always be able to cherish the memories that you have of him.

I hope that your bronch went well today. I stayed home - I think I have a cold. Blech.

Keep me posted on your bronch and how (if) your Anatomy test went OK.

See you Thursday!